


I Become (What I Might Be)

by lforevermore



Series: I Don't Conquer [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cock Rings, Collars, Dirty Talk, Dom Geoff Ramsey, Dom Michael, Dom Ryan Haywood, Dom/sub, Face Slapping, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Hair Pulling, Humiliation, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Rough Sex, Sub Gavin, Tags to be added, face fucking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 06:20:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9535589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lforevermore/pseuds/lforevermore
Summary: Gavin earned it.Dom/sub collar fic featuring Dom!Geoff, Dom!Ryan, Dom!Michael, and Sub!Gavin. Can be read alone but makes more sense when read with the rest of the series.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm guessing this will be around three or four parts, finishing up at roughly 12k-15k words. 
> 
> Follow at inmywildernesswriting.tumblr.com

**“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” – Lao Tzu**

It doesn’t happen right away.

It’s for the best, Gavin knows – they can’t have an orgy any day of the week, after all. Everyone has to be in the same city at the same time, everyone has to have their work done on time, the planets have to align, the stars have to be in order, and so on.

The anticipation is delicious in a way that it’s never been before. Usually, Gavin gets nervous instead of excited, starts to think that maybe it’s being pushed off because the other person doesn’t want to, that they’re just doing it for him, that he’s somehow bothering them. It’s something he and Geoff and Griffon are all working on, Gavin having a little faith and slowly figuring out that Geoff and Griffon _want_ him, want to keep him in all the best ways. Now, it seems that lesson is transferring over to Michael and Ryan as well.

Not that they’re really giving him any time to doubt.

Once Geoff (and Gavin, of course) had given the okay for them to play with his toy, it was like Michael and Ryan just couldn’t hold back. It wouldn’t really _go_ anywhere, is the thing – one of Geoff’s rules was that he was there for every orgasm, another that he was present for every full scene, at least in the beginning. It’s utterly charming, how protective Geoff is.

(“I just need to make sure that you’re safe,” he had said, and had blushed a little bit. “I need to know that they know what they’re doing before I let them do it alone.”

“Geoffrey,” Gavin had cooed in response, which had earned him a gentle cuff on the back of his head, to which he had overreacted and fallen to the floor, and Geoff had pulled him up to his knees and-

Well. It had devolved from there, to say the least.)

Michael, in particular, likes to come up and press himself to Gavin’s back under the pretense of seeing what he’s working on. He likes to run his fingers across the back of Gavin’s neck and watch him shudder, likes to give him lewd looks and gestures that make him blush. Ryan (who is, Gavin thinks, more experienced in D/s than Michael is) is calmly, confidently _sexy_ , in a way that Gavin really can’t place but can’t ignore either. It’s little things – Ryan makes sure he eats lunch, walks over and kneads Gavin’s shoulders when Gavin starts getting frustrated with a video. Ryan pins him with gazes that are impossible to look away from, a little dark, a little contemplative, and very, very distracting.

It all adds up to a very interesting work environment, that’s for sure.

Finally, _finally_ , they manage to figure out a weekend that will work for all of them. Griffon gets herself a hotel room so that they can have the house, in an effort to make Ryan and Michael more comfortable.

(“I just don’t have that kind of relationship with them,” she’d said by way of explanation, at the worried look on Gavin’s face. “You’re not _excluding_ me or anything, I’m just perfectly content with the two of you. So go, have fun, I’ll see you when I get back on Sunday, and you can tell me all the sordid details while we have some fun ourselves.”)

 Gavin gets through the week by the skin of his teeth. It doesn’t help that every time they get a moment alone, Michael and Ryan are practically pouncing on him, making out with him until he’s pretty much a wreck that has to go crawling back to Geoff for a quickie. Gavin is starting to think that Geoff’s the one who’s put them up to it – he’s always got this knowing smirk, always seems to be conveniently in the right place at the right time.

Gavin’s not sure how he got so lucky.

Friday night rapidly approaches, and Geoff surprises him by cutting his and Gavin’s day short at lunch.

“I want you in a certain headspace,” Geoff says when he starts heading for home instead of the office. “I want you comfortable and at ease so that you’re not jumping out of your skin when Ryan and Michael get there.”

Gavin nods in agreement, shivers a little in anticipation of what’s to come. It’s not just one night – it’s an entire weekend that he’s got to look forward to. A weekend of being Geoff’s and Michael’s and Ryan’s, a weekend of wearing his collar and being on his best behavior. He’s used to being Geoff’s sub most of the time, even when the collar is off, but this feels different, feels unknown and exciting.

Geoff pulls into their driveway and parks, and Gavin practically bounces out of the car and up to the door, Geoff chuckling behind him. Geoff’s hand rests on the small of Gavin’s back while he reaches to unlock the door, and then he’s pulling Gavin inside and pressing him to the wall for a slow and dirty kiss.

“You’re not excited at all, are you?” Geoff says against his lips. “What are you looking forward to most, baby?”

It’s his way of getting Gavin to loosen up a little – Gavin has such a hard time expressing himself when it comes to this that Geoff likes to ease him into it, make him do it any chance that he gets in an effort to get Gavin used to it. So far it’s working, and the words are coming easier than they have before.

“Getting out of my own head,” Gavin confesses. “Letting go.”

Geoff hums in commiseration. “It’s been a long week,” he agrees.

He takes Gavin by the hand, leading him through the house and up the stairs to his and Griffon’s room. It’s practically Gavin’s now, too, the one down the hall still there in case Gavin wants some privacy, but he hasn’t slept in it in weeks now, maybe even months. The bed’s a huge king, so it won’t really be a problem to fit four people, but Gavin feels a flare of nerves nonetheless – there are a few clothes in the floor, some things out of place, and he thinks briefly that he should be tidying or something, making sure that everything is perfect.

“You have that look on your face,” Geoff says. “Talk to me.”

Gavin flushes. “’m just nervous,” he replies, a little on the quiet side as he forces the words out.

“Nothing to be nervous about.” Geoff fingers the hem of Gavin’s t-shirt, giving it a tug. Gavin lifts his arms obediently so that Geoff can pull it off and away. “Michael and Ryan are excited. We’re going to have a great time. _You’re_ going to have a great time.”

“What if, like,” Gavin starts, and then forces the rest out before he loses his nerve. “What if I mess up?”

“Define what you mean by ‘mess up.’ Do you mean breaking a rule?” Geoff drops to untie Gavin’s shoes, pulling them off and setting them to the side.

Gavin shakes his head. “I just mean…” He stops, struggling to put the feeling into words.

Geoff pulls Gavin’s pants off, tossing them away and standing straight once more. He curls his hand around Gavin’s chin, lifting his head to look at him. “Listen,” he says. “There might be a hiccup or two – happens when there are other people involved. But there is no way that you can ‘mess up.’ If you break a rule, there’s a consequence – you know that. If you need to safeword, we stop, and there’s nothing wrong with that. If, for some reason, it doesn’t work out, we’ll drag the mattress to the living room and play Mario Party all weekend instead. Okay?”

Gavin nods, taking a deep breath and trying to calm the anxiety curling in his stomach. Geoff’s fingers slide past the band of his boxers, and his breath catches. He pushes them down, dropping down to pull them the rest of the way, and Gavin’s cock is already partially interested, has been all day.

Geoff stands, going to the closet where they keep pretty much everything fun while Gavin watches. He knows a little about what will happen, but wanted to keep most of it a surprise – he trusts Geoff to know his limits, knows that he’s perfectly safe no matter what they have planned for him.

Geoff comes back quickly, and to Gavin’s delight _and_ apprehension, he’s got the cock ring in hand. It’s a simple one, but it’s very effective, and Gavin has a love-hate relationship with it.

“Hands behind your back,” Geoff says, and Gavin obeys immediately, clasping them behind himself even as Geoff drops to his knees again. He looks up, eyes finding Gavin’s as he teases the tip of his cock with his tongue, smirking when Gavin lets out a little breath of air.

He works efficiently, getting Gavin hard with a teasing blowjob before buckling the cock ring on, essentially keeping him hard for as long as he wants. Gavin clenches his fingers together, trying not to reach out and touch – Geoff hates having his hair pulled when he’s giving head – even as Geoff keeps going after the cock ring is in place.

Geoff stands, lifting a hand to caress Gavin’s neck. “You ready for your collar, baby?” he asks.

Gavin nods, even as the word “yes” tumbles out of him, followed by a polite little “please.” He doesn’t even blush, like he used to when he’d have to talk during sex. He knows he’s bound to get nervous about it again, but they’ll no doubt push him right past that anxiety and into a space where he won’t even care.

Geoff reaches for the side table, where they keep Gavin’s favorite collar, the worn brown leather one that he loves. He has more than one, now, from a heavy black one to a sparkly purple one with a matching leash, but Gavin likes the comfort of this one. Geoff no doubt knows this, tries to ease the anxiety with the familiar feel of the collar wrapping around Gavin’s throat.

As soon as it’s buckled, Gavin feels like he can breathe a little easier. Geoff’s got him, now, and all he has to do is whatever Geoff tells him.

“Color?” Geoff asks, a quick check in.

“Green,” Gavin breathes without hesitation. “So green, Geoff.”

Geoff smiles, petting a hand through Gavin’s hair. “Good. Drop.”

Gavin goes to his knees instantly, loving the way that Geoff has him trapped between his legs and the bed, knowing that he’s absolutely safe there. Geoff’s fingers keep sliding through his hair, gentle and then tugging sharp in turns. It’s a slow method of putting him down, but it works, if not all the way – it gets Gavin to go pliant and soft, gets his eyes to soften a little. Geoff pulls his head in to rest against his hip, and Gavin goes easily. It’s a quiet moment, one where Gavin can hear his heart beat and feel the warmth of Geoff beside him.

Geoff takes him down to the kitchen, grabs a pillow from the couch along the way. He drops it onto the linoleum of the kitchen floor and points, and Gavin kneels on it with practiced ease. He’s done this too many times to count, been good and quiet for Geoff while Geoff putters around the kitchen. Today he’s chopping up a bunch of different fruits and vegetables, getting snacks organized so they don’t have to think about them later, and Gavin is perfectly content to kneel and watch him.

“Tell me your rules,” Geoff says suddenly. It’s not uncommon either for Geoff to have Gavin talk – apparently, he likes the cadence of Gavin’s voice when he’s all soft and submissive.

Gavin flushes then, has to take a moment and work up the courage to say them aloud. He’s met and dealt with Doms stricter than Geoff (Gavin’s just not a posture-and-eyeline kind of sub, he’s too clumsy and forgetful most of the time) but Geoff doesn’t let him get away with anything. Geoff is casually confident, expects his every order to be followed in an appropriate amount of time – but he also understands that this is hard for Gavin, and he’ll wait patiently for a few minutes while Gavin gets it together.

“Be respectful,” he finally manages – it’s first, because it’s Geoff’s number one rule. It’s really how they define the difference between work-relationship and _their_ relationship. Gavin is a little shit at work (or when he’s really craving a punishment) and well-behaved at home.

(That doesn’t mean, of course, that they don’t joke around and dare each other to do stupid things when they’re drunk. It’s complicated, but it works.)

“Good,” Geoff says, and dumps a pile of pineapple off of the cutting board and into a bowl. “Keep going.”

And next, Geoff’s Golden Rule. “If you do something I don’t like, I need to tell you,” Gavin manages.

“Good,” Geoff says again, and the praise washes warm over him. “Now tell me what that means.”

Gavin fidgets a little, but the words are getting easier to work his tongue around. “Means if I feel like I’m not safe or start to feel like it’s too much in a bad way to tell you.” It doesn’t mean he gets to refuse punishments. Like, he gets to refuse them if they start to make him feel… _wrong_ , or like he’s not safe, or if the insecurity washes over him, but usually Geoff’s good about making the punishment fit the crime. And _usually_ , Gavin also pretty much enjoys punishments, so that’s not really a problem. Besides, he’s always got his safeword.

Which leads him to rule number three. “Safeword if I need to.”

“Good boy.” Geoff walks past him and ruffles his hair as he goes, a brief point of contact that has Gavin settling into the warm, soft space in his mind even more. He sets up the next set of fruit to chop up and add to the bowl, and Gavin watches him. “Now, you’re going to listen to Michael and Ryan, aren’t you? Show them just how good you can be?”

“Yes sir,” Gavin says obediently, and those words he never has trouble with at all.

“But if Ryan gives you an order, and I tell you to do something else, who do you listen to?”

Gavin blinks a little at that – he hadn’t thought about it, really, hadn’t thought that it might happen, but he supposes it _could_. “You, Geoff,” he says easily, the answer seeming completely obvious to him.

“ _Good_ ,” Geoff says. He puts down the knife, walks over to Gavin, and stands in front of him. His finger finds the D-ring on his collar, and Geoff lifts Gavin’s gaze for him, drags his eyes to Geoff’s. “Tell me what you’d like to happen.”

And they’ve talked about it before, gone over in detail what everyone is okay with happening, and Gavin knows that Geoff and Michael and Ryan all have something planned. He knows they’ll be fucking him, probably more than once. He doesn’t really want to know anything else – he likes to be surprised, is the thing, and he knows he’s completely safe with Geoff.

Gavin struggles with the words, though. Geoff’s hand curls in his hair and _pulls_ , until the line of Gavin’s throat is bared to him. The hand holding his collar moves to curl around his throat, and _God_ , Gavin _wants_ already, so badly.

“Tell me,” Geoff orders again. “I’ve got you, Gavin.”

It’s those words that do the trick, and the switch in Gavin’s brain suddenly flips. Gavin’s no longer worried about propriety, or making it sound good, or being perfect. All he has to do, he knows, is whatever Geoff tells him.

“I want… I want to be _used_ ,” Gavin finally says in a rush of breath.

“Yeah?” Geoff drops into a crouch, keeping Gavin’s head back and his hand still on Gavin’s throat. His voice has gone rough, though, far from its usual sleepy inflection. “You want to be used, huh? How?”

“Anyway you want,” Gavin answers, eyes finally fluttering closed.

A sharp not-quite-a-slap-but-more-than-a-pat to his cheek has him opening them again. “Try again,” Geoff says, and his voice is firm.

“I want…” Gavin shivers a little when Geoff’s hand finds his throat once more. “I want you to make me _crawl_ ,” he says, hears the sharp intake of breath from Geoff that spurs him onward. “I want you to make me beg. I want – I want you to take me apart.”

“Yeah?” Geoff kisses Gavin’s jaw, finally releases his hair so that Gavin can drop his gaze to Geoff’s. “You want us to rough you up a bit, baby?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Gavin breathes. “Oh, God, please.” And Geoff’s always been rough with him, is the thing, always pushed him around and up against walls, always given Gavin that bite of pain with his pleasure that Gavin _craves_.

“I’ll show them how to keep you in hand,” Geoff murmurs, leaning in to press a kiss to Gavin’s throat before worrying the skin there with his teeth.

Ryan and Michael, though, are relatively new to the equation. And where it’s pretty obvious they like having Gavin up against walls too, they don’t know his limits as well as Geoff, don’t know where Gavin draws the line, and the idea of Geoff teaching them how to be rough with Gavin, guiding them through giving Gavin exactly what he needs.

Gavin bites back a little moan at the idea.

Geoff stands, deft hands unzipping his fly and pushing his pants down. Gavin’s mouth waters at the sight of his cock, and suddenly he wants absolutely nothing more than to feel the hard weight of it on his tongue.

“One to take the edge off, nice and quick,” Geoff says, hand finding Gavin’s hair again to curl into it, dragging his head forward. “Hands behind your back.”

Gavin’s hands tangle around themselves again, and he opens his mouth so that Geoff’s cock can slide between his lips. Geoff doesn’t waste any time, hips rolling as he fucks himself into Gavin’s willing mouth, and all Gavin can do is breathe through his nose and keep his eyes on Geoff’s.

“God, you look beautiful like this,” Geoff says, and Gavin can feel the flush on his cheeks starting up again. He fights the urge to look down and away, knowing that Geoff prefers his eyes on him. “Perfect little slut for me, Gav.” He drags Gavin forward, curls his hand around the base of Gavin’s skull and holds him there. Gavin struggles to breathe, tears collecting at the corners of his eyes and then spilling over, and then finally, Geoff is letting up, letting him pull back and away.

Gavin kept his hands behind his back the whole time.

“Good boy,” Geoff says. “Right there, look up at me, come on.” Gavin lifts his face, mouth falling open once more, but Geoff doesn’t press forward again. Instead, he wraps his own hand around his cock, jerking himself swiftly and assuredly. “ _Fuck_ , just like that.” He comes, grip in Gavin’s hair tightening, and Gavin closes his eyes as he shivers, his own cock pulsing at the feeling of it hitting his cheeks and chin.

After a long moment, one where Geoff has to lean against the counter for support, caging Gavin in, he cards his fingers through Gavin’s hair. “So fucking good for me, Gavin,” he says, and Gavin flushes warm with the praise.

Geoff tucks himself away again, puts one finger underneath Gavin’s chin to lift his head again, and his sleepy eyes seem to practically drink Gavin in. That’s another thing that Gavin’s really coming to love, is how Geoff always seems to find Gavin wholly attractive no matter what.

“Aren’t you pretty like this,” Geoff says, smirk blooming on his face. “I think I’d like to keep you this way.”

The doorbell rings, and Geoff’s smirk becomes a full-blown grin. Gavin feels the rush of a blush hot on his cheeks, and he can’t help it – he drops his eyes out of embarrassment even as the hot feeling of arousal curls in his stomach.

“Another time,” Geoff says. “I want you clean and ready to be used. Go upstairs and clean up, then come find me in the living room. Got it?”

Gavin nods. Geoff raises an eyebrow, and Gavin quickly reconsiders. “Yes, sir,” he says, and Geoff rewards him with another ruffle of his hair, stepping away to go and let their guests in.

Gavin does as he’s told.


End file.
